Isaac:
i went from being in a good mood to horrible in two seconds
Me:
Why? or, more appopriately, how?
Isaac:
one conversation with one person throwing a word around
Me:
That's vague. I'm sorry you're in a bad mood now. Don't let it get you down...?
Isaac:
he always does this to me. my emotions run off of our interactions all the time. it's gross
Me:
Who?
Isaac:
who do you think?
Me:
Bryton?
Isaac:
yeah.
Me:
... It's funny when my hunches are correct, but knowing it's true without a doubt still surprises me in some way?
Isaac:
what?
Me:
Nothing. Never mind, lol.
Isaac:
he always does this. 'i hate talking to you because i still have feelings for you.' and when i say, 'then do something about it.' he freaks out and say that i am pushing him into a relationship that he doesn't want. wtf.
Me:
Yeah. Wtf.
Isaac:
that's all you have?
Me:
Besides wondering why you're still trying to make that ship sail... yeah, I think that's all I have. Although, I still try with you, so who am I to judge?
If you talk to him and he makes you happy, then good for you. Hopefully it's mutual. If it doesn't make you or him or both of you happy, then why drag it out?
But you can't write me off, so why would you be able to write him off? It's not how you are.
Isaac:
i can't write him off. he put me in this emotionless state. i don't know how to get out
Me:
You CAN write him off. But you won't. And you know he's not the one that will take you out of your emotionless state. You would be so much more beautiful standing on your own. I CAN also write you off, but I don't. Whatevs.
Isaac:
well then why does it suck so much right now
Me:
What sucks right now? Maybe you're depressed. Maybe you're not.
Isaac:
i'm so alone. no matter who comes into my life, i'm still alone
Me:
You never rest for more than five seconds. You're never alone.
Isaac:
but i feel like it
Me:
You want too much. You're never satisfied with what you have.
Isaac:
why?
Me:
Take some time to count your blessings. Your life is full of them. Focus on those. Be thankful, express your thanks. It will come back to you. You have most of what you need in your life already. So many seeds that just need nurturing. Take some time to stop gathering new seeds and sow the ones you have.
Yes, you will make new friends and continue to grow, you'll find new love, new interests, and you'll go to new places. But you need to find the balance between looking and enjoying what you already have. And you need to be more sure of yourself by yourself. Focus on YOU and how you define yourself, and ignore the you that's defined by others. For now.
Isaac:
i have no confidence
Me:
Find it. Create it. You deserve to have confidence. You obviously are full of traits that others are drawn to. You have talents and things you excel at. You're attractive, physically and otherwise. The world would be much worse without you in it to those that know you and to those that don't yet know you. You should find confidence in that.
Everyone has insecurities, and ways to mitigate them, but you should embrace those, too. They're what make you YOU. It's part of the beautiful you that I hope to see standing strong and tall, metaphorically alone. And remember that you'll never ever really be completely alone. Even on your worst day, when you're at your worst, there's AT LEAST one person who would drop everything for you.
Isaac:
you're sending the nicest things at the same time he is making me feel like shit. i'm not moving anywhere
Me:
I can only light the path. You have to do the moving. I can't imagine your conversation with him is important enough to continue. End it. Go to bed. Go offline. Write a blog post. Write in a journal. Draw a picture. Read a book. Don't take abuse. Granted, I don't know what your conversation is about. I've been pretty mean to you recently, too, but it led us somewhere.
Isaac:
you're too much right now
Me:
Yeah. I can often be too much. It's just part of who I am.
Isaac:
all i needed was 'what a bitch'
Me:
Someday you'll have to explain to me why you put yourself through all of this.
I don't think I ever stooped to the level of swearing at you... It bothers me that he does. And that you take it.
Isaac:
no, that's what another friend just said. i told him that bryton was pissing me off.
Me:
Oh, I get it. /end rant.
Isaac:
i kinda wanted it from you. and then i realized it wasn't what i needed
