blog.: Archive

June 2011

1 post

June 21-29, 2011

Then: The culprit sleeping on your floor that sparked Gracie’s interest is named Cole. For reasons apparently unknown to everyone, he was randomly in Eau Claire on Tuesday, June 21st to party with my ex-boyfriend Joel. About a month ago, Eric also randomly became friends with Joel through facebook. This strange mutual friendship brought Joel, Cole, and two other females to our humble abode...

Jun 30th

January 2011

3 posts

01.23.2011 - Quick Update

I had three simultaneous chats going on fb earlier. Two of them - Isaac and Jon - I just posted. The third, James, I didn’t post because it wasn’t as significant. James and I discussed me buying a cello and getting cello lessons, then the situation with Isaac and myself (including its ending yesterday), and finally we then made plans to “catch up” on Tuesday. That last...

Jan 24th

01.23.2011 - Simultaneous Contrast

 I'm so glad to see that you enjoyed the game today!
 haha
 it was definitely the highlight of my year, thus far
 ...
 not
 the sad part is that I actually watched the game 
 Why is that sad?!
 I don't like football, but I there's no point in hating on those that do.  Right?  Yes.  No?
 haha yes
 Unless you watched it and meanwhile disliked it...
 I don't mind watching sports, but it's not something I really enjoy doing 
 unless it's tennis, I enjoy watching that 
 YES!
 Good response.
 I think I was feeling some sort of wisconsinite pride, and felt obligated to watch this game though
 lol
 That's very loyal and respectable of you.  I, however, as a Minnesotan still wouldn't have watched the game had the Vikings been playing.  I think my apathy towards big league sports is greater than yours.
 I feel less American because of it.
 hahaha
 well, I understand the feeling quite well 
 (when it comes to sports that is)
 I'm not very patriotic, actually.  So I often feel less American than most.
 haha
 my patriotism comes and goes 
Hopefully it's not attached to how your local major league sports teams are performing.  : -;
Oops,  I meant this: 
 bahaha
 no, I swear it is in no way connected to major league sports teams 
 I can promise you that 
 so, how was your weekend?
 I'm not sure I can sum up my weekend in any concise way.
 It wasn't a bad weekend, by any means.
 well that's good
Let's go with this: atypical.
 Today was a lot of fun.  I spent it with my good friend Kajsa.
 How was your weekend, Jon?
 it was pretty fun
 last night my friends held a "back to freshman year" party 
 so that was interesting 
 in a good way I think 
 Hahaha
 I can only imagine.
 there was a lot of uv consumed  
 and I still don't like it 
 haha
 Was it the first alcohol you got drunk off of?
 ha it was involved, but I was more of a smirnoff ice guy back then
 I can barely drink one today 
 Hahaha!  Much less cliché.  I'm proud.
 thank you, it means a lot 
 ;P
 I never actually had UV before this past year.
 I'm not a terribly big fan.
 I think the first thing I got drunk off of was a 40oz of malt liquor given to me during my senior year of high school.  We were high class, clearly.
 awww
 my first drink was a malibu and coke, before my 18th birthday, senior year
 but I didn't actually get drunk until I came to college 
 You made it until senior year until your first drink?!
 I honestly thought I was possibly the only one that held out that long.
 lol
 I was a MAJOR rule follower back then
 I still am at times, but not to that extreme 
 extent* 
 So you've never tried cocaine, then?
 ... I plead the fifth 
 haha just kidding
 definitely not 
 nor have I smoke pot, or a cigarette
 smoked*
 I'm impressed.  I feel lame in my impressed state, but these responses are not usual to me.  Lol
 I tend to be a prude at times... 
 haha, well I try to be atypical 
 as far as stuff like that is concerned 
 That's cool.
 I'm called a prude all the time.
 well at least we're not alone in our prudishness 
 That might be a slight exaggeration...  It's just come up a lot recently, lol
 haha, well prude is mostly a self given term. I've been called one a few times, but recently someone I was talking to was surprised that I'm as reserved as I am
 I don't act it, I guess...?
 Reserved?  Like shy?  Or in other terms?  I often describe myself as "old fashioned."
 well I wouldn't say shy. Maybe at first yes, but definitely not overall. Old fashioned is more appropriate when describing me 
 I like for things in life to hold meaning, and be appreciated for what they are 
 This is uncanny.  Why didn't we chat before this?  lol
 ha, I have no clue. 
 at least we're talking now, eh?
 True.
 I must say, I really like your "political view"
 Lol.  Libertarian doesn't seem like the right word.
 I pretty much agree in fiscal conservatism, except when it comes to education  
 otherwise, I'm pretty liberal 
 I guess I can't completely disagree with my parents 
 oh well
 My huge problem lies with the national debt and our nation's insistence on the ridiculously high funding for national defense and the like, but cutting funding for things like education while simultaneously trying to add to or revamp social services that lack proper financing.
 yup
 totally agree
 I'm not against the social services themselves, but there need to be concessions made somewhere else or taxes need to be raised.
 But, like you said, oh well.  Lol.
 I think there can be major concessions made when it comes to defense. We should feel the need to patrol the entire planet
 shouldn't*
 That's what the United Nations is supposed to be for.
 exactly 
 I'm used to people either disagreeing with me or tuning me out regarding these topics.  You're intriguing.
 Well thank you. Right back at you. 
 Is your semester starting tomorrow?  Or will this be your second week back?
 Wednesday is the final day of my J Term
 and the regular semester starts on the 2nd
 Oh, well I didn't account for that.  Lol.
 Yeah, Luther likes to make up it's own rules 
 like holding class on labor day 
 but having a fall break 
 It's a private school, ya?  They can do whatever they want.
 Where is Luther exactly?
 Yes, it's private and they definitely do what they feel like doing. 
 Luther is in Decorah, IA
 I'm like 2 hours and 45min from Chippewa 
 (I'm an hour out of La Crosse) 
 in all reality, I'm in the middle of nowhere. I had always thought I would go to school in a bigger city, but the first time I visited Luther I fell in love with it. So, I'm in a town of 8000 people that is an hour from the nearest burger king, taco johns, or mall. 
 Wow.
 Good thing you like it, then.
 haha I know right 
 I never saw myself in a city as small as Eau Claire...
 but when I'm done at Luther, I'm done with Decorah 
 I know right 
 I love an urban lifestyle
 I didn't want to leave after I spent a month in London. It felt right. 
 but alas, I am in the land of corn until may 
 I have to come home sometimes though. Eau Claire used to feel small, but after a few weeks here it feels like a metropolis 
 Aujourd'hui
 Lol.  I always like to hear that from people who grew up in small towns.  It's still so small to me.
 I don't hate it anymore, so that's a good thing.
 haha, I can't even tell you how much I hated Decorah my freshman year 
 I didn't really start almost liking it until late last year 
 my roommate is from a town of 3000, and there are only 3 stoplights in his entire county 
 That's depressing to me.  I love Minneapolis/St. Paul and Chicago... And San Fran.
 I hope to end up in one of those places.
 Are you graduating in May then?
 yeah. I have to student teach in the fall though. 
 Back in Iowa?
 no no no
 I'm done with this state 
 lol
 I'm planning on student teaching somewhere in the cities 
 Nice.  
 or at least do my high school placement in the cities, and my elementary around home 
 I don't really want to live with my parents, but if its necessary 
 It's much more affordable...
 definitely 
 my sister lives in Falcon Heights though, so I would hopefully live with her 
 Not bad.
 What year did you graduate high school???
 right, but it would be kinda nice to live at home during that time and work a little 
 I graduated in 2007
 I'm a little jealz.  I want to graduate sooner!
 when are you going to graduate?
 I've had an interesting run, though.
 how so?
 I will graduate in December 2012...
 I see I see
 I graduated in 2006.  Lived on my own in Minneapolis for approximately a year after canceling my plans to go to San Francisco State at the last minute.  Moved to Eau Claire, went to CVTC for a year, transferred here to UWEC for a year, transferred to the U of M for architecture but had to cancel at the last minute for financial reasons, transferred back to UWEC last spring, and then became an art student to prepare myself for architecture school as a graduate program.
 wow!
 that's impressive actually 
 architecture seems like it would be a really rewarding job though!  
 Hahaha.  Thanks.  I try to look at it in the best light possible and not focus on the fact that I won't actually be out in the real job market until about 2015 at the age of 27.
 oh come on. It could be much worse. 
 That's very true.  And you're right, architecture will be much more rewarding than pharmacy would have been.
 so that's what you were originally going for I assume?
 (I've changed my major four times - although they were kinda closely related)
 haha
 That's what led me to working in a pharmacy.  Which has been both a blessing of sorts and a curse.
 ha, that's how I feel about Leinies 
 But yes, that's what I was initially intending to pursue.
 You realized breweries weren't your actualy calling?
 actual*
 well that's really interesting
 yeah...not really
 I know WAY too much about beer 
 And I know close to nothing!
 Be proud of your knowledge! 
 well, I'm known for knowing random facts about many things 
 I usually win trivia games 
 I have a weird memory.
 I would also describe that as both a gift and a curse
 Awesome!  I'll recruit you for my team next time.  I also have a lot of random knowledge that seems to come in handy during trivia games.
 we. would. dominate. 
 If you know sports stuff, then we're set...
 unfortunately no
 that is the one subject I am not well versed in  
 the only sort of macho thing I'm kind of decent with would be questions about cars 
 What about literature?
 But cars are my strength!  lol
 no!! haha
 well, I've lost touch with them recently, so I'm sure you would beat me at that 
 I used to be really interested in them because my godfather is a car designer 
 I know far too much about cars.  Less about the actual mechanics, but I do alright there too.
 WHA?!
 I WANT TO DESIGN CARS!
 That's actually not an uncommon desire.  I shouldn't have reacted to loudly.  I apologize.
 so loudly*
 no worries. I was a little frightened though 
 jk
 but yeah, he designs for a freelance company right now, but he's applying to Ford I think 
 He's done a lot of contracted interior work for Chrysler  
 like the pacifica and the liberty 
 That's fascinating.
 he's my dad's first cousin, but he lives in Ohio now so I only see him about 2 times a year
 I gave up on the car design thing, though.  It's a specialized skill with a very competitive market.
 yeah, it's really competitive 
 Studying sculpture has really altered my perception on design.  I have no idea where I'll end up now.  Definitely some type of grad school.  Most likely architecture, possibly industrial design.
 I've always found design to be interesting 
 but I can't draw, so it's not something I could do for a living 
 lol
 plus, I like singing too much 
 I enjoy singing, and my drawing skills are questionable.
 Drawing is a skill that can be exercised and improved, though!  
 Kinda like singing.  Although voices are much more variable, I think.
 It's actually very similar. You are right though, the actual instrument does make a difference when it comes down to making a living out of it  
 as far as performance is concerned anyway 
 also, I'm too rational to pursue performance 
 Lol.
 even though it is something I probably would have enjoyed 
 but I want to teach
 I like the way you think...
 well, I decided that I wanted to have health insurance 
 along with making a difference on a personal level with other people 
 I'm glad you have that sort of drive.
 Performance is much more concerned with Self.
 exactly
 and to be honest, I think we all focus on self more than enough as it is 
 Very true.
 More true than I'd like to admit.
 same here 
 going to Africa was definitely a wake up call in that respect, for me anyway 
 Holy crow!  You've been to London and Africa.  I just got my passport.  I want these experiences too!  lol
 Well, I studied abroad for the last two j terms 
 the first was London and Paris (a music class where I went to concerts/operas/ballets)
 Wow.
 Those are very contrasting trips.
 and then last year I was in a small select chamber choir and we sang and leaned african music in namibia and south africa  
 SO different 
 I feel incomplete being in the us right now 
 And both very valuable.
 I learned at least a semester's worth of knowledge per trip 
 I have no similar experiences to that.  It makes me feel incomplete.  Luckily, I at least have the ability to think outside of the "American" way.
 I wish everyone was able to that  
 America strives to be the best of the best, but the majority of the world places greater importance on doing as well as they can
 I wish I had pursued studying abroad earlier in my college education.  Doing it now would postpone too many things.  But since I'm graduating in the winter, I think I'll be able to before the graduate architecture program starts in the following summer/fall.
 I highly recommend it
 btw, I hope I'm not keeping you from sleeping. I mean, I'm really enjoying this, but I don't want you to be a complete zombie on your first day of class. 
 That's very thoughtful of you!
 I'm debating whether or not I should try to go to bed.  12 hours ago I was just getting out of bed.  More or less.
 haha
 I never sleep that late, but I didn't set my alarm.  I guess my body needed the rest.
 I wish I could have slept in! 
 it's one of my strengths  
 Recently, it hasn't been for me...  A blessing and a curse, as it is the theme of our conversation tonight.
 I guess it has been, hasn't it? lol
 I napped to make up for the fact I had to wake up earlier than I wanted 
 Church?
 ha, how did you guess?
 yeah, I had to sing in church 
 It's a common reason to get up early on a Sunday.  
 I don't usually go. Only when I have to sing for something. 
 haha, very true
 Catholic?
 no no
 Luther is affiliated with the ELCA 
 pretty much it means nothing
 Evangelical?
 Lutheran 
 What's the 'e' for?
 and the most liberal synod 
 well it does stand for evangelical but the rest is "lutheran church of america"
 Okay.  I see.
 we're not required to go. We do have to take two religion courses, and we have a statue of martin luther on campus along with chapel/church in a building on campus 
 and the classes can be Islam or Buddhism 
 or something of the like 
 That is pretty liberal, lol.
 basically we're as liberal as it get with the exception that the college started out as a seminary in the 1860's and we uphold a bond with the church  
 yeah
 Are you religious/spiritual?
 good question 
 ha
 ummm... I believe in something. I tend to feel that things happen for a reason, and there is always a lesson to be learned from every situation 
 I like to be optimistic 
 even though my humor usually makes me seem to be pessimistic 
 Good response.  Lol.
 how about you?
 Humor is a funny thing.  I tell a lot of dirty jokes, yet I'm a fairly proper person.
 that's good to hear
 As far as religion goes, I'm a "strong agnostic."  But I have a strong, yet simple, set of morals.
 Spiritually, I guess I'm kinda loosely tied to some ideas of karma and fate.  But I'm very personally spiritual...  I believe in the importance of having a strong "Self".
 I'm making this far too complicated.
 not if it's how you feel 
 very fre things are simple in life 
 few*
 In a nutshell, a lot of people look to a higher power or some foreign body for hope, power/strength, forgiveness, etc.  I think it's more important to find those things within.  To have a good relationship with yourself.  To know yourself - both your strengths and weaknesses.  To be self-sufficient in a lot of ways, so you can better support those around you.
 That's very telling of my personality, I just realized.
 Does that even make sense to you?
 yeah, it makes a lot of sense 
 I often explain things in ways that are unnecessarily complicated.  Stream of consciousness, I guess.
 that's part of why traveling means so much to me because I always learn important things about who I actually am 
 well, I do the same thing. Plus I'd rather have that than a manufactured response 
 it's fun to see how others think
 I agree.  Especially when it's not a way that's been impressed by MTV or something.  Like some of my poor sisters.
 haha true 
 Or numerous acquaintances...
 totally 
 You're really good conversation, Jon.  Thanks you.
 likewise 
 And now I'll say goodnight.  
 alrighty! Have a goodnight, and a great day of school 
 You too.  Finish out J Term with a bang!
 Until next time...
01: 16
 night!

Jan 24th

01.23.2011 - End or Intermission?

 hey
 Heyo
 how are you?
 Pretty good.  How are you?
 good. just got done with work. so about those fire drills this morning...
 Drills?  lol
 I hope to something powerful that they weren't drills!
 right. alarms...
 anyway... it was a transition to talk about your tweet.
 What about it?
 was it about me?
 Yeah.  My first instinct was to make sure that you were safe.
 Well, maybe it was my second instinct.  The first being to evacuate the building...
 right. i thought of you too. but then i didn't see you out there
 I was the fourth to last person outside somehow.
 I saw you, though.
 i was pissed. i couldn't sleep last night and then i finally did and that happened. i didn't know i would be that 'shaken up' by what you said
 About the Tweet, or before?
 before.
 Idk.  I realize I didn't give it enough time.  I just didn't have enough faith.  I don't have enough faith.  It feels like it's either too late or too soon.  Or both.  Or I'm  more messed up than I thought I was
 i think it's both
 You could have convinced me otherwise.  But I don't think that's part of your nature.  Or you're not certain enough yourself.
 i'm not certain jake, but i'm interested enough to try. there is so much pressure on it. i feel like if we try, it's like us saying we're in a relationship, but then i'm just worried i'm going to fuck something up. i want to try, but i also don't want that much pressure. it's unlike dating anyone else. there are strings with you. everything has to be cautious
 Not really.  I only have one expectation.  Maybe two.
 well you know that i look into things and freak out about things.
 Aujourd'hui
 I kept wanting to ask you why all the boundaries and such were necessary.  Sometimes I think it's better to just let things happen naturally.  If we had passion or chemistry, why hamper it?
 It doesn't matter at this point, though.  No use dwelling on it.
 i dwell when i think that something happened that shouldn't have because of mistakes that i made.
 Don't think of them as mistakes.
 but they are
 How many premeditated actions led us to this point?   I can only think of one... though I'm looking from an outsider's perspective.
 what do you mean?
 I don't think you should call anything a mistake unless is was a decision that was thought out.  Some things just happen.
 i know
 well now i know
 Isaac est hors-ligne.
 Isaac est en ligne.
 Regardless of all this, I'm not interested in trying things again any time soon.  And I know you don't want to hear/read this, but I don't think we should hang out for awhile.
 But I have every intention of being good friends with both of my roommates, so I'm not going to cut you out of my life or anything.  We just need time to reset ourselves or something?
 i hate seeing two of my best friends being all chummy when i'm not allowed to hang out with you for a while
 Well, Eric and I very rarely see each other.  And school is starting in the morning... I doubt I'll see Eric much.
 That should make it easier.  I hope.
 well regardless he thinks he knows everything about your life and what happened between you and me.
 i have to go. i hate this.
 Hate what?
 Isaac est hors-ligne.

Jan 24th

December 2010

1 post

Today: 12.23.2010

Isaac: i went from being in a good mood to horrible in two seconds
Me: Why?  or, more appopriately, how?
Isaac: one conversation with one person throwing a word around
Me: That's vague.  I'm sorry you're in a bad mood now.  Don't let it get you down...?
Isaac: he always does this to me. my emotions run off of our interactions all the time. it's gross
Me: Who?
Isaac: who do you think?
Me: Bryton?
Isaac: yeah.
Me: ...  It's funny when my hunches are correct, but knowing it's true without a doubt still surprises me in some way?
Isaac: what?
Me: Nothing.  Never mind, lol.
Isaac: he always does this. 'i hate talking to you because i still have feelings for you.' and when i say, 'then do something about it.' he freaks out and say that i am pushing him into a relationship that he doesn't want.  wtf.
Me: Yeah.  Wtf.
Isaac: that's all you have?
Me: Besides wondering why you're still trying to make that ship sail... yeah, I think that's all I have.  Although, I still try with you, so who am I to judge?
 If you talk to him and he makes you happy, then good for you.  Hopefully it's mutual.  If it doesn't make you or him or both of you happy, then why drag it out?
 But you can't write me off, so why would you be able to write him off?  It's not how you are.
Isaac: i can't write him off. he put me in this emotionless state. i don't know how to get out
Me: You CAN write him off.  But you won't.  And you know he's not the one that will take you out of your emotionless state.  You would be so much more beautiful standing on your own.  I CAN also write you off, but I don't.  Whatevs.
Isaac: well then why does it suck so much right now
Me: What sucks right now?  Maybe you're depressed.  Maybe you're not.
Isaac: i'm so alone. no matter who comes into my life, i'm still alone
Me: You never rest for more than five seconds.  You're never alone.
Isaac: but i feel like it
Me: You want too much.  You're never satisfied with what you have.
Isaac: why?
Me: Take some time to count your blessings.  Your life is full of them.  Focus on those.  Be thankful, express your thanks.  It will come back to you.  You have most of what you need in your life already.  So many seeds that just need nurturing.  Take some time to stop gathering new seeds  and sow the ones you have.
 Yes, you will make new friends and continue to grow, you'll find new love, new interests, and you'll go to new places.  But you need to find the balance between looking and enjoying what you already have.  And you need to be more sure of yourself by yourself.  Focus on YOU and how you define yourself, and ignore the you that's defined by others.  For now.
Isaac: i have no confidence
Me: Find it.  Create it.  You deserve to have confidence.  You obviously are full of traits that others are drawn to.  You have talents and things you excel at.  You're attractive, physically and otherwise.  The world would be much worse without you in it to those that know you and to those that don't yet know you.  You should find confidence in that.
 Everyone has insecurities, and ways to mitigate them, but you should embrace those, too.  They're what make you YOU.  It's part of the beautiful you that I hope to see standing strong and tall, metaphorically alone.  And remember that you'll never ever really be completely alone.  Even on your worst day, when you're at your worst, there's AT LEAST one person who would drop everything for you.
Isaac: you're sending the nicest things at the same time he is making me feel like shit. i'm not moving anywhere
Me: I can only light the path.  You have to do the moving.  I can't imagine your conversation with him is important enough to continue.  End it.  Go to bed.  Go offline.  Write a blog post.  Write in a journal.  Draw a picture.  Read a book.  Don't take abuse.  Granted, I don't know what your conversation is about.  I've been pretty mean to you recently, too, but it led us somewhere.
Isaac: you're too much right now
Me: Yeah.  I can often be too much.  It's just part of who I am.
Isaac: all i needed was 'what a bitch'
Me: Someday you'll have to explain to me why you put yourself through all of this.
 I don't think I ever stooped to the level of swearing at you...  It bothers me that he does.  And that you take it.
Isaac: no, that's what another friend just said. i told him that bryton was pissing me off.
Me: Oh, I get it.  /end rant.
Isaac: i kinda wanted it from you. and then i realized it wasn't what i needed
Me: Well, you got it.

Dec 24th

November 2010

2 posts

Concise Ending

Me: I have trust issues with you now, so I don't know where our friendship will go from here.
Zeke: and that's my fault. i'm sorry. 
Me: Oh well.  What's done is done.  I'm relearning not to care, and you're free to entertain who you please without a reaction from me.
Zeke: oh okay.

Nov 29th

Zeke

Me: Do you need a hug?  I'm conveniently located in the library already.
Zeke: no. you wouldn't be happy
Me: Do I dare ask why?
Zeke: i'm not ready for anything, as i made clear by freaking out and realizing why i want to change my major. 
Me: Okay.  Why do you want to change your major?  And how would that make me unhappy?  Never mind, you don't have to justify anything to me right now.  You have more important things to focus on.  I'm not going to add stress to your life by trying to make you explain things.  I just remember you telling me on Friday that you were ready to start dating, and later how much you really liked me - for the second time.  Today is just one day out of SO MANY.  You're stressed, and you said you haven't been sleeping well.  I'm trying my best not to pressure you into anything, honestly, and if you need to back up a step and regain your perspective, that's fine.  The difference between where we are now is that I'm ready, and you're not.  If you do truly like me, then we can go as slowly as you want.  Just don't push me away.  Especially when you're upset and/or stressed.  I'm here for you, and I understand.  B/c I truly like you and I want the best for you personally, and for both of us together.  Even if together is eventually and not now.  You don't have to say anything, I just want you to know that you don't have to feel vulnerable until you're good and ready, and I'll try my best to make it worth it.  Hang in there.  Get to the other side of your struggle and you'll feel phenomenally better.  So I'll stop distracting you.

Nov 15th

February 2010

1 post

On and on and on...

Just thought I should update this thing and let y’all/myself know that P broke up with me this past Sunday. A week ago, technically (though it’s still Saturday, to me). Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day - which means that I haven’t had a happy and loving V Day ever (yet?). Regardless, Paul once suggested that I write a book telling all about my interesting and atypical...

Feb 14th

December 2009

1 post

Yeah, it's been 5 months...

I’m back in Eau Claire, Paul is back from Spain, and now he’s my boyfriend (as of today)! Funny how things work out, isn’t it?!

Dec 26th

July 2009

5 posts

ME:Paul - July 8, 2009

M: How are you doing today, Paul?  :-)
P: Good.  You have the day off?
M: Yessir!  I'm out to eat by myself.  It's weird not having someone to blab to.  Coconut curry chicken and jasmine rice are delicious!
P: Where are you eating?
M: A place called Big Bowl.  Benevolence is like anger, right?
P: No, I think you are thinking of malevolence.
M: Oh, yes, I am!  I'm sitting underneath a banner that says "benevolence," and I was hoping it didn't mean anger.  Lol.  I'm a little bored, but certainly not angry!
M: I'm going to go hunting for a faux wedding band to perform a social experiment.
P: Oh?
P: Do I not get to hear about your social experiment?
M: Top secret!  Lol, nah.  I just want to see if I'm treated differently by women and gay men as a married man.  Mima and I are going to be newly weds together.
P: Of course you are silly!  I have one better.  Borrow a baby and see how you get treated then.
M: Oooh!  I just saw an Acura NSX!  Classic and famous!  It deff looks better irl.
M: The experiment would be more fun with another guy.  I'm just fascinated by prejudicedness in action after getting my nose pierced.
 ------
M: [picture of my martini]  Mmmm.
P: I'm rael jealous!!!
M: It's called the pretty boy: x-rated acai vodka, stoli o, absolut pear, aperol, cranberry juice, and a splash of soda.  :-)  It's delicious!
M: It's my fav restaurant, where they have that red velvet cake!  Too bad I can't bring you any.  :-/  I vow not to send any tipsy texts to you.  Lol
P: Sounds like it.  It that at applebees?
P: And tipsy texts are okay.
M: Nah, it's figlio in Minneapolis.  :-)  I'm with my good friend Aly!
M: [picture of my meal]  Dinner!
P: Wow!  Looks pretty scrumptious!
M: [picture of the figlio's infamous red velvet cake]  OooooMMMMGG!!!
P: I kinda hate you a little.
M: Will you go to figlio [with me] some day and allow me to pay?  :-)
P: Like a date?
M: I would like that.  But that's up to you, my friend.  It could just be like a friend taking you to his favorite restaurant if you prefer.
 (I have a feeling that wasn't the answer he wanted, since I never got a response.  My goal is to not be the one to initiate the next texto...  I need to slow my roll.)

Jul 9th

Me:Paul - July 7, 2009

M: You haven't even been gone for a week, and it feels like it's been a year!  Having days off of work is now less exciting.  Are you busy on Sunday?
M: Snap!  Eva Mendes is 35...  Gorgeous, and much older than I thought she would be.  Oh well.  I really need to stop looking at this magazine in the breakroom.
P: I'm at a Dairy Queen car show with my dad and niece.
M: Fun!  Are they classic cars?
P: Most of them.
M: Everything ok?
P: They got malt shop music!
M: Sweet!  I love going back in time!  I hate what we were doing to the environment at the time, and civil rights were backwards, but I love mid 20th century!  :-)
P: I love the 50's pop culture.
M: Good taste, Paul, good taste.
P: My former roommate always said he liked the 60's better and said the 50's were obsessive, male dominated and fearful of communism.
M: While I can't argue against that, the post-war period had style and culture that I find more enjoyable.  The late 60's and 70's were too much like the present.
P: It was full of hippies, druggies, and fee loving.  Not my thing.
M: I feel like the beginning of American cultural and political decay began at that time.  Nixon, Reagan, the Vietnam and Korean wars, hippies (like you said).
M: American charm became something else.  American sloth, excess, and pride.  The seven deadly sins!
P: Haha.  Oh you...
M: So, you never told me.  If I happened to be in [Paulo's hometown] on Sunday, would you want to hang out for a bit?
P: Oh yeah.  I can't that day.  My dad is having a family get together.  I don't think you should be coming all this way anyway sir.
M: But I want to go all that way.  Why do you think I shouldn't?
P: I know you want to but it's kinda over the top.  It's like I am buying you a book for x-mas and you are buying me a big screen tv.
M: Lol.  I'm more original than that.  ;-)  And I have no problem with a book...  To me, it's worth it.  My only expectation is for you to just keep being yourself.
P: You're missing the point.
M: What is the point?
P: It makes me unhappy.
M: What part makes you unhappy?
P: Can't you understand how I feel?  I don't think you should visit me.  It isn't like when I lived in [our shared college town].
M: I can imagine a lot of reasons, but I may over-analyze and come to the wrong conclusion.  But I won't come if you don't want me to.  I just enjoy being with you.
P: It's just a little too much for me to be comfortable with.  I do like spending time with you though.
M: Well, my opinion of you should be pretty clear, so just do what you're comfortable with and I'll be happy.  I do hope to continue getting to know you better.  :-)
M: And I know you're in a relationship, and while I can't deny my interest in you, I'm glad to just be a friend.
P: Thank you.  I hope I didn't hurt your feelings.
M: I was looking forward to seeing you again, but I do understand and respect your point.  My feelings aren't hurt.  What will be, will be.
P: I'm glad.  You should also know that I'm now with Josh anymore.  He dumped me.
M: Oh no.  I'm sorry.  I hope you're not feeling too badly.
P: No.  I'm doing okay now that I have my family.
M: Well, keep on keeping on.  Listen to your happy music.  Utada is my happy music, so feel free to borrow her.
P: Thanks.  I'll be okay.

Jul 9th

Me:Paul - July 6, 2009

M: According to People Magazine, [Zachary Quinto] is 32 and James Franco is 31.  That's a one year difference, so I don't think you should call ZQ old anymore... Lol.  :-)
P: Haha!  My James doesn't look like he's in his forties though!
M: Facts are facts, Paul.  But my Jo Weil is better than both of them combined anyways!
P: Keep telling yourself that... Lol
M: Hmmm.  It turns out that he's also 31.  I'm not helping my own case [regarding my accused attraction to old guys] very much.
P: I don't judge.  If you like old men, then you like old men.  Good for you.
M: Let's just say I'm open-minded, eh?  But that I wouldn't date someone that age at this point in my life.
P: I would!
M: I'm weird about age - or maturity, really.  I don't feel mature enough, and if they were at my maturity level [at their age] it would just be weird.  So Paul likes 'em old, too!
P: I think it would be an interesting experience.  As long as they look young.  I just feel old inside.  I'm an old soul I guess.
M: You seem more mature than most people I know around our age...  Most of the time.  :-)  I like that - like your vocabulary!  You are quite fetching.
P: Why thank you.  I could say the same about you.  You wouldn't be happy with someone younger and less mature.
M: Well, specifically just less mature.  I just saw someone wearing that same pink AE shirt that you have.  He didn't do it justice.
P: Aww...  Are you saying that shirt looks good on me?
M: Well, yes.  I didn't want to say it that blatantly though, lol.  Sometimes I realize how strange I am, this being one of those moments.
P: You are pretty strange.  It's okay.  I like you no matter how much of an odd ball you are.  :)
M: Woohoo!  I'll take that as an invitation to always be odd.  :-)  How is being back home so far???
P: It's amazing.  I am very happy to be home and am ready for new beginnings.
M: I'm very happy to hear that.  I hope that your life is always nothing less than amazing!
P: Thanks.  I wish you endless happiness too.  I'm here for you.
M: Paulo, sometimes you're just too swell for words.  :-)
P: So complementary today.  All this flattery will give me a big head!
M: I never have a bad thing to say about you.  I suppose I'm just being a little more honest.  But you're right, you're no good to me without an operable head.  :-)
P: Haha :)  Oh Jake, your reserved honesty is so endearing.  I think you are a pretty great guy to tell you the truth.
M: Oops, I mean INoperable head.  As in, I don't want to be that cause of your head bursting.  I'm glad you don't find me unpleasant!  I was worried about my [excessive] talking.
 (upon closer examination, my correction in the above message was unnecessary)
P: Yes, I find you so unpleasant...

Jul 9th

Me:Paul - July 3, 2009

M: Heeeeeyo!  I hope your class wrap-up is going well!  :-)  Crazy wild plans for tomorrow???
P: Well, I'm going home...
M: Geez, that's out of control!  Lol.  Why does your message sound hesitant?  Everything ok?
P: I probably won't be able to see you before I go.  It's a bittersweet time right now.
M: I thought you were going on the tenth?  When are you coming back again???
P: I don't know.  I will try to come back for a visit, but it's a long drive.
M: I see, I was just wondering if it was a temporary thing, but you're going back for good.  That makes me a little sad.  :-(  But it gives me an excuse for a road trip!  I'll come visit you!  :-)
P: That would be fun, but you are crazy to make that drive.  It's tough and I'm not worth it.
M: Pish.  It's a fine drive, and  you're worth more than that.  While it's possibly masochistic, I just plain like you in my life.  You're thoroughly enjoyable.  :-)
P: Lol.  You are crazy.
M: Most certainly!
P: I don't think I can allow you to do that.
M: Why is that?
P: It's so far.  Especially for a visit.  It's too much to ask.
M: You're not asking for anything.  I like road trips, and it would be nice to see you.  There's only one way you can talk me out of it, so don't bother.  I insist.